After 3 months, it still nothing.
No news. Just blank.
People advised me, others waiting years by years
yet Allah still won't give
People added, others have to adopt
yet Allah destined they won't have them.
Indeed, they smile. And they celebrate the happiness.
Am I being ungrateful and/or not believing Allah's will?
Astaghfirullah al 'azim...
When I am ready and accepting, He is testing me again.
People start talking about me. ME. Not US.
And that's sometimes tears me down.
I watched family type movie and never fail to cry.
It reminds me of all things that had happened previously
and this blanko-thing.
And the husband noticed that.
"How fragile you are, Love."
I am sorry. I just can't resist this emotional feelings.
It just happen.
I know there are many other people being tested even harder than me.
But when I tried to change the destiny and rearrange everything
Things just can't be even better.
"Without Allah's will, nothing will happen. And that always comes with reasons"
Relax. Calm. Breathing. Do the works. Let Allah do the rest. And SMILE. He needs that.